Wednesday, October 12, 2005


Anyone familiar with my former experiments in blogging knows that it tends to be an on-again, off-again type thing.

I think I might be back, for now, intermittently, at least until January. Starting in January I may resume full time.

I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar, when I... no.

I was working this summer for a consulting firm that did political analysis of emerging markets and volatile regions. It was an excellent place to work, I would have enjoyed staying on as a fulltime member of their team but it wasn't to be. However, it was the only place where I had dedicated internet access- as romantic and edgy as my squalid little chinoistown shack was, it did lack an highspeed connection. Being only there for 3 months, there was no reason to invest in DSL, even if I could have afforded it. Dialup posed a similar contract problem.

I was writing most of my posts at home initially but I found myself increasingly compelled to work on the blog at work. Seeing as how I liked my job, and knowing their ability to monitor my web usage, I thought it best not to get fired or fall from a state of grace. I was also finding a need to blog about events in the region of my interest, which was a grey area but quite conceivably a conflict of interest, given that that same analysis was what I was getting paid for.

Khallas. I stopped blogging.

I wasn't sure if I'd start it up again- after leaving the firm, I was supposed to start a training program for my new job in London, but my visa didn't come through on time. Then I ended up stuck here, in the country, where there is very little to comment on, aside from the mundane of cooking dinner, doing the dishes, and occasionally catching the 7:45 into Manhattan.

Now, with 13 days before I leave for London, I still don't have much to say. There's an intellectual stupor that descends when I sit home with a cat on the lap and no conversational partner. The nature of blogging is for a presumed audience, a monologue in structure but a dialogue in nature between the writer, the reader, and other bloggers. Without inspirational friction, verbosity is lacking.

In London, in training, I doubt I will have much access, and most of what I say would be by necessity anecdotal. I can't in good confidence discuss my training or my new job, and I will be in much the same rural position as I am here- 40 minutes outside of the major city and even further removed from current events.

Despite the fact I've never broken into the popular consciousness or any consciousness, really, I have this sneaking worry that the further afield I get from my home base in Manhattan, the less relevant I will become.

It seems as though in January I will be doing a duck and roll to a standstill into Germany, with a year of work and practical training ahead of me. I don't know my new employer's policy on this sort of public masturbatory expression, but I doubt they'd look kindly upon it. I am confident given the pattern of my movements and interests, as well as my vernacular English, I'd be easy to pinpoint and publicly (internally) flay.

So maybe. Maybe not. Most bloggers of any real repute are writers by trade, and good ones at that. It makes it easier to turn the machinations of the day into fodder for the digital page. As I've said, I don't discuss my private business or my friends, and now, not work... So presumably, until I do have something to say not on those two heavily relevant topics, mum's the word.