Friday, July 15, 2005

but the emotional cost was staggering

Not to keep on keeping on with the Gawker thing today, but I’m hard at work cranking out reports on the fall of this government and that regime, so Gawker’s kinda like a quickie I sneak off for when I just can’t handle any more coup d’etats.

Lifted from the NYDN today, they argue that there ain’t no such thing as a cheap date. However, they seem almost bashfully modest. Ironic shots as ESPN SportsZone, $43 including tip? Wasted cab ride home, $15 including tip? Pizza on the corner, the $4.50 slice? ATM, $1.50 withdrawal fee? I don’t know what sort of utopian consumer Shangri-la they live in. It’s a full $2.00 subway fare equivalance down in these parts.

But why stop there? This is supposed to be a date, after all, yes? And you have been doing tequila shots at SportsZone all night, right? Let’s follow it to the logical conclusion then.

Condoms at the bodega on the corner, $10 pack? Check. Oh wait you’re on the pill? Okay, Parliament Lights instead, $7 pack? Check. A late night six of PBR that you’ll open two bottles and drink three sips of, $6.99? Check. Upholstery cleaning for the beer you knocked over on your roommate’s couch as you two started to go at it, $53.69? Check. Emergency contraceptive at planned parenthood cause she actually forgot to take the pill the day before, $45? Check. Coffee while you wait outside cause there ain’t no way you’re going to get involved in this and you’ve already deleted her number from your phone, $1.50? Check. Her cab ride back to Williamsburg, just so she stops trying to put her arm around you and say don’t worry it’s not a big deal but what are you doing tomorrow, $20? Check. Drinks for your buddy that night at Welcome to the Johnsons so you can recount to him the worst fucking lay you’ve ever had? $6, including tip. At least some things come cheap.

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